Monday, 9 December 2019

Be Happy NOW. Stop waiting.

Stop relying on others to create your happiness. I'm more guilty than the next person - I become down and swim in negative emotions when I'm not getting enough attention from my favourite people.

Stop relying on others to create your happiness. I'm more guilty than the next person - I become down and swim in negative emotions when I'm not getting enough attention from my favourite people. And, when they do come around, I am ecstatic... nothing can touch me when I am in that mood of happiness.

It's dangerous to say the least. Especially when you spend your life trying to please everyone around you - even if you receive nothing in return. It's a tiring dilemma but I am learning to be selfish and make my own happiness.

Happiness isn't the same for everyone. It comes so differently to each person that it can be difficult to hold in your hands. A state of unhappiness, however, there is not a chance you can ignore it - and if you think you can, you'll soon witness it take over your life.

I will let you in on a little secret. Situations in life have very little to do with happiness... because happiness is entirely under your control. Your outlook on life and the habits you create consciously or subconsciously CREATE your happiness. Happiness is manufactured - you either want it, or you don't.

What works for you? I love going on an evening run, cooking and learning french. That makes me really happy. When you know, everything else - especially the difficult stuff - will feel much easier. 

I've compiled a list of things that come naturally to happy people so you don't have to:

- SLEEP. A good nights sleep can change your life. Put your phone down and listen to a relaxation playlist - be in tune with your thoughts and control your breathing. List 10 positive things currently in your life. I'm sure most people wouldn't dare let their phone drop below 10%, so why are you allowing your brain to do so? Recharge your mind body and soul and look after yourself - in turn, you will feel lighter. 

- Stop obsessing. Oops - my most agonising trait. There is something very clear about being in the know, and worrying about the outcome. Happy people allow themselves to be aware, but never fear the end result. Everything will work out in the wash. 

- Know your morals. Not everyone will think like you do. Not everyone will behave or act the same as you either - and that is okay! As long as you never squish your own morals to suit someone else. Lowering your standard not only affects your happiness, but will also desecrate your efforts. Stand your ground and stick up for what is right. Don't be scared - fear is only ever in the mind and regret is never far behind if you let it in. 

- Grow, and grow again. Your mindset is everything. Having a growth mindset will take you far in life. A fixed mindset will only hinder your progress long term. Everyone can change if they want it badly enough. People do bad things but that doesn't make us bad forever - not if we decide to change. A growth mindset can lead us to believe that we can improve with effort, resulting in a much happier lifestyle and daily outlook. Growth mindsets will also help you handle difficult situations in a more calm manner, and treating such as learning opportunities will also encourage happiness. 

- Stop fighting. Respond to your emotions and stop leaving them on the back burner. Put yourself first. Emotionally intelligent people know the importance of self-care and self-awareness. Talk about what hurts. Explain your wounds to someone who will support you and do the same for them. There is no other reward like it. 

- Exercise and hydrate! Even if it's for 15 minutes - move your body and drinking enough water each day will have a massive affect on you. When I started running I never realised how much I would enjoy exercise. Sometimes even putting music on and dancing like an idiot for half an hour changes everything. 

- Keep tidy. You know what they say, tidy environment, tidy mind. I would like to think I don't have this struggle, as I love a tidy home - however, once I feel an ounce of depression I will be living in a cesspit quicker than I can say ''I feel shitty''. Make your space your own, fill it with special things you love and adore. You will feel great without clutter or mess suffocating you.

- Help others. The one thing that adds value to my life is supporting other people. Taking the time to make someones day, even if it is minuscule, can really turn everything around. There is no time for bitterness or petty behaviour here. Helping people gives off a charge of ocytocin and serotonin. 

- Don't just say it, believe it. Three words. Law of attraction. A positive outlook on the future will fill you with glee. Don't just say ''Things will work out'', truly believe they will. It isn't as hard as it seems once you practise a little. The mind can be dangerous. Did you know we all have a painful habit of romanticising past situations? So much so that the present and future seem pointless in comparison. But, you have to believe that before those happy times, there were still happy times. If you can experience those memories, you can experience even more. 

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