Thursday, 14 March 2019

You F*cked Up Again and Let the Devil In - Here's How to Fix it...

You Fucked Up Again and Let the Devil In

It happens.

Whether it's a bad day, week or full-blown relapse mode: It happens and it is okay - you are not a failure for letting the devil back in with hesitantly open arms.

I have had a hard time recently. It hasn't been anywhere near as painful or stressful compared to previous years - just a small blip where I allowed myself to fall back into old habits. I may not have made an effort with myself, not making myself look presentable (even though I know that is something that improves my mood instantly), I've skipped the gym, and I haven't cooked a meal in two weeks. 

Despite the disappointment of my slight relapse, old me would have popped an entire pack of prescribed antibiotics, cut at my skin and hate the world for making me so miserable. So, new me isn't doing so wrong after all.

I guess you could call it a funny few weeks. I could even blame it on the fact Mercury is in retrograde. I don't know, but what I do know is I am strong. Tougher than I have ever been before. I can do ANYTHING I set my mind to, I might need a quick nap first.

I allowed someone toxic to come back into my life because I needed to do something for myself. It sounds wrong, but I had to use them to achieve something I desperately needed to do. Now that I have completed my 'mission', I'm not so sure I should have put myself through that situation in the first place. At least I can finally say I did what I set out to do and I am proud of myself for the outcome. 

As humans, we sometimes make mistakes that we might not necessarily deem as regretful until some time has passed. We put it to the back of our minds, and although it seems buried in the depths of our brains, it always climbs to the surface, and we are reminded of our failures the moment we begin to feel good about life. 

I have blocked a lot of sadness during my time on earth, and I am beginning to realise how dangerous that coping mechanism is. I'd sooner cry every single day of my life for 10 minutes than spend a month straight convincing myself to stay alive.

Life has felt quite mundane recently, and I can not stand it. My favourite trait about myself is my positivity in even the most difficult situations. I love to love life and everything it has to offer. I am a sucker for small yet significant moments. 

'What are your five positives from today?' I ask the people I care about. I don't expect them to come out with extravagant, over the top achievements. I want them to tell me how much they enjoyed the sunset that evening, or how much they loved listening to their new favourite song — the little things in life matter most to me. 

It is OK to breakdown - Here is how to fix it. 

1. Take a step back and make a note of everything you are grateful for in life - remember the smallest are often most significant. 
2. Tidy the mess you have accumulated. I tend to leave my house in a state when I'm having a rough time, and it certainly doesn't help matters. A tidy space = a tidy mind.
3. Remember to look after yourself. Self-care is everything! A hot bath alongside a healthy nutritious meal and watching your favourite TV show... it all helps. 
4. Get back in touch with the people who care about you. I know it can be difficult to talk through your pain, but at least let them know you realise they love and support you. Thank them for it.
5. Get organised. Whether you want to plan your next healthy food shop or de-clutter your wardrobe - for me, having some form of organisation feels like I am getting back on track. 
6. Support others. Turn your pain into POWER! You are incredible, use your great personality to be kind to others who may need help.
7. Enjoy yourself! Go out and have fun. You don't need alcohol or drugs, just breathe in the fresh air and notice all the beautiful things nature has to offer.
8. Work hard. Work to better yourself, mind body and soul. Take the time to get your head straight. What do you want to improve?
9. Research Law of Attraction. Trust me. You won't regret it...
10. Please love yourself. Mistakes happen, breakdowns occur. You are only human, and you can only do as much as you know you can to survive. Not every person deals with pain in the same way. 

It all takes time...

As always - I am here for anyone who needs advice or support. You are stronger than you think.

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