Monday, 3 September 2018

My Confidence Campaign - Shan's Self Love Series

I have a proposition for you all. 

What if I told you that you didn't need to drop ten pounds or find love to feel better about yourself? That you didn't have to despise your flaws anymore? Trust me, with hard work, it is possible. 

I spent most of my teenage life hating myself. 

I hated that my body was always 'curvier' than the other girls. (Weight does NOT define you, neither does it make you any less wonderful/stunning whether you think you're too small or too big... newsflash: too small or big is not a thing.) 

I hated that one of my eyes was browner than the other, much greener, eye. It made them look odd in photographs. I hated having no top lip and that my nose was too wide. I hated my darker hair because it would show up on my legs and arms more than a blonde would. The list was endless.

It is so tough to overcome your flaws when they affect you day in, day out. I could never walk anywhere with my head held high. I would cower away and stare at the ground, hoping and praying no one would notice me. 

Social media is 70% to blame. 

We all do it... we hide behind filters and smooth out our skin. We brighten our eyes without realising there is already life behind them if we simply just appreciate ourselves. Celebrities portray a perfect life on screen, and it makes us feel as though a piece of us is missing. We search endlessly for happiness in a Gucci handbag, yet almost always come out empty handed. 

We get upset because a poorly sized 20 H&M top doesn't fit even the smallest of frames yet we comfortably slip on a size 10 from New Look. Topshop only stock size 4-6 and we all wonder what diet we need to go on next to feel accepted by society. We compare ourselves to skinny people wondering how they got so 'lucky', not realising that most of them wish they had a fuller figure. 

The comparison is the killer. 

There is always someone better, we think, but the truth is we are all doing just fine. The person who has all of the money in the world has a void cash could never fill. Even the people who love themselves unconditionally sometimes wonder why they are single or lonely. We are all so beautifully different, yet equal. 

I used to do it all the time, I would look at other girls and wonder why I can't look that pretty in an Instagram selfie. What do they have that I don't? I'd desperately search look for the answer in makeup and filters and wonder why I still hated myself. It was because my social media was one big lie. I would post selfies for validation, to judge my worthiness on how many likes I could get.

Meet the new Shannon

Now, I post pictures for me. I love posing despite how awkward and shy I can be. I no longer worry about whether I will be judged for posting 'too many' selfies for fear of seeming vain. If I feel good that day, you're going to know about it. I want to scream it from the rooftops that for the first time in years, I love my body. I love my face. I love ME. My personality is one of kindness and pure sparkle. I am kindhearted and selfless (most of the time.), and I enjoy dedicating my time to helping others, even strangers because that's just what I do. It's just the way I am. I don't know any other form of living without sharing warmth with others.

Every day I make sure I let people know how radiant they look today, or that their new dress suits them perfectly. If you believe someone looks nice, tell them. Tell yourself. Look in the mirror and find something you like about yourself. Forget the flaws because one day they will be your favourite feature. You have the strength and power to present yourself in the most favourable light. No one else's opinion matters as long as you are happy and aren't harming people around you. Just because you don't address, it doesn't make it accurate. No one knows you better than your own damn self. You are good enough to push toxicity out of your life and those who try to project their own insecurities on you. That is not self-care.

This is my life 

I don't get paid to boost others, it is not my job to listen to problems that are not my own. I do it because I care. Perhaps too much, but regardless, I care about the wellbeing of strangers because we all live on the same planet and spreading negativity will only make our precious time on earth a misery. No one needs that.

You will notice that once you begin to enjoy your own company and uplifting others, your life will become so wonderful. Kindness is magical and priceless. Especially when you give it to yourself. 

For the foreseeable future, I'm going to focus my blog on self-love alongside certain processes and ways of thinking to change your mindset. If I can do it, everyone can. 

As always, I am always here to support or offer a helping hand, and I genuinely mean that. I often get messages starting with ''Sorry if this sounds weird' or 'I hope I'm not bothering you' and trust me it doesn't and you won't. I was born to make some sort of change in the world, and whether it only continues to work for the small community I live in or across the globe, it will be for the greater good.

I'm not hiding anymore. 

Love to you all

S x

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