Wednesday, 24 January 2018

How to Accept the Love You Deserve

You deserve love and happiness.

Sometimes it's a little tricky to accept, but you should know how important it is to not only love yourself but allow yourself the love you receive from others too. 

It has taken me quite a few years to learn this, and I am still struggling even now. I don't know how it happened. I guess one day I finally decided I was tired of fighting it. I wanted to make amends with my mind and accept my flaws for what they are, they are merely small pieces of art that make me who I am. It's okay and totally normal not to be perfect.

For the past few years, I have been a coldhearted shell of myself. Refusing to give or receive love from anyone because I was afraid of getting hurt. Not anymore, I feel the fear and do it anyway! And so can you. 

Just because someone hurt you, doesn't mean someone else will.

I've seen loved ones get cheated on, or have their heart broken by not only a partner but friends and family. I know how terrible it is to learn to trust again, but if you allow yourself to assume that people, in general, are bad news, you will automatically dismiss something with great potential in every new situation. Obviously, it is smart to have some sort of guard up, I'm not saying trust everyone you meet! They have to earn it. Just make sure you're not throwing away something awesome without truly experiencing it. 

The fear of being first.

Sometimes you have to make the first move. Not everyone is as brave as you want them to be, you might not be for starters! To feel loved, you need to give 'loveable' vibes. I know how easy it is to be coldhearted. Protecting yourself is okay. However, being cold and preventing yourself from getting hurt are two different things. You are going to push people away. People who could end up being everything you could ever want. I know, I've done it many times. Stepping out of your comfort zone is the only way to truly live in happiness. 

Shower your close friends with love. Hell, give a little to some strangers too! You have no idea what others are going through behind closed doors. Give love, and you shall receive it. Positivity is key. 

Self-love is essential.

The one person you have no choice but to spend the rest of your life with is yourself. If your relationship with yourself isn't positive, how is anyone else supposed to have a healthy one with you? Its one of the most stringent processes we as human beings have to go through and every journey is different.  

Stop comparing yourself to others. You are given what you have for a reason. Accept your flaws. Appreciate them. Encourage yourself to do and be better because of them. True fulfilment comes from you and only you. Have confidence in your strengths, and you will flourish. 

I know what you're thinking. If you hate yourself, it is so hard to find an ounce of love or happiness. I would know, I have spent the past two years spiralling into a deep dark hole of hate. Seeing the positives, however small, in day to day life really encouraged me to find the acceptance I so desperately needed and there is no turning back now! No matter what I despise about myself, there is something else I could love more. 

They are not you. 

Your new partner is not your ex. The two are completely different, and your new relationship shouldn't suffer because the old one went to shit. If you smashed your phone screen and had to buy a new phone, of course, it's normal to feel hesitant about holding the new device in your hands. But would it stop you from buying a new phone? I doubt it. (What a comparison!)

Trusting someone feels good. 

The past few months I have fought an internal battle, one from the heart in fact. The amount of love, respect and general kindness I have received from one person has been more I could ever imagine in the past four years of heartache. If someone is making an effort with you, setting aside time to ensure you feel your best, even if its the simplest of actions, have a little faith in them. Genuinely good people do exist. 

Its easy for someone who has been hurt in the past to feel like this person could have other intentions, but your mind can fool you. If your heart is telling you that this could be something great, maybe it could be. Live in love as well as the moment.

Ultimately you should never have to fight for it. Love will come to you and this time you can welcome it with open arms.



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