Tuesday, 19 December 2017

12 DAYS OF SHANMAS #5 | Love at Christmas - 'Single All The Way'

For some people, it can be hard to think about love at Christmas.

For some people, it can be hard to think about love at Christmas.

For me, I am pretty unsure of how I feel about being single during the holidays. I mean, this is the one time of year where you can shower people with endless amounts of love without it being a ‘thing’. You know?

I have been single for quite some time, and truth be told I really have found a love for spending time alone. I honestly really enjoy eating dinner alone with a rom-com playing in the background - it’s just how I do things these days. Alone. And I am totally okay with it.

Christmas wishes

However, that doesn’t mean I don’t find myself daydreaming about the ‘perfect’ Christmas with the man of my dreams. Of course, I do. No matter what anyone says, companionship at Christmas is more lovely than any other time of the year. The idea of waking up on Christmas morning with my own children and seeing them open the wonderful gifts we slaved over gives me a feeling that I can’t express without a smile on my face.

Family is everything to me and while love might not be on the cards for quite some time, I am more than happy to wait patiently for it to arrive. For the past two years, I have convinced myself that maybe I am better off alone, without anyone at all, but I know that isn’t true. I have so much love to give, not in the form of gifts or luxury items, but my heart. My heart is full of admiration and kindness and it eagerly wishes to share itself with someone else. 

Moving on alone

I don't know why Christmas does this to me. Is it because I am seeing old friends get engaged and have children? Or is it just the feel good feeling I get after watching a Christmas classic on the tele? Who knows. But I am totally okay with being single all the way. Get it? (jingle all the way, ha. ha. ha.) - I honestly have no idea why I’m not as desirable as I deserve to be...

The dreaded ‘ So when are you going to find a man?’ question just loves to smack me in the face every Christmas, all Christmas. Family members mean well but if I hear ‘ You must find a date to the wedding’ or ‘Your clock is ticking’ one more time I am going to become that drunk aunt who ruins the holidays for all. 

New years resolution - stop ruining things for yourself

Since my last coupling, I find myself sabotaging potential relationships and even friendships far too often. When I find a good thing I will almost always think of a reason as to why it could never work, or that they will soon grow tired of me. They could drop down to one knee and tell me they want to spend the rest of their life with me and I will still try to convince them of my flaws.

I must admit, recently I have been brave enough to open up and so far I haven’t tried to completely destroy things. Yet. Right now, I guess I am enjoying leading a double life - One where I am completely single ( I don’t do the whole getting with strangers thing so single to me means going home alone and watching tragic romance films) and the other where I am open to the idea of allowing myself happiness.

Who knows what will happen in 2018, all I know is I will take each moment as it comes. Great things come to those who aren’t looking. I’m not waiting for anyone or anything - but I will enjoy getting to know new people for sure.

Are you single at Christmas this year? Fear not. Try not to overthink it.  After all, being single really isn’t a big deal at all. Find happiness within yourself first!


1 comment :

  1. You Shannon are AMAZING!! You make me so proud everyday xx