Sunday, 24 December 2017

12 DAYS OF SHANMAS #10 | Christmas Eve

I LOVE Christmas Eve!

The build-up to the big event excites me more than it does my six-year-old brother. I love getting into my brand new Christmas PJs, watching a festive film and eating all of the snacks you could imagine. Despite the fact I'm getting older the magic of Christmas never does leave.

While I haven't felt very festive this year, I have tried my hardest to get into the spirit but I won't sugarcoat it, it has been difficult.

When I get ill, even a slight cold, It is almost certain that my routine will be out of whack. With OCD, not having my routine really does affect the way I feel and act for however long my mind decides to do so. It's not fun or festive for sure.

I'll stop my skincare routine which is life or death for me, I'll then get the odd spot and have to scrub my face until it bleeds. I can't stand feeling dirty and unfortunately, that's all I have felt the past few weeks whilst I had a chest infection. Does anyone else feel that way? It's a tough situation because I know that it is all in my mind and the baths twice a day are definitely keeping me 'clean'.

I wish I could scrub my mind of these thoughts but it doesn't quite work like that! I haven't had any type of breakdown for a good few months now so this one threw me off guard.

Today, I plucked up the energy to change my bedsheets, do my simple five minute skin care routine and brush my hair properly. This might seem like a silly thing to be so proud of and happy about but this is my life. The little things feel like a struggle and even though they seem rough at the time I must remind myself of how lucky and blessed I am in life. There are so many people out there with problems triple the size of mine. All I can feel is guilt but I will turn that guilt into support for others who feel this way.

I hope everyone, especially those who find the holidays difficult, have a lovely holiday.

Wishing you all a Merry Christmas x

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